Climbing a Mountain and the 5 Stages of Grief.

On our recent trip to the Black Hills, my family (meaning Kate, Frank, Jim, and I) climbed a mountain. When Frank told me we were going to be climbing a mountain, I was amped. A mountain? I've never climbed a MOUNTAIN before. Harney Peak, this mountain, is the highest point east of the Rockies. This of course could only lead to one thing: my constant new phrase of, "I'ma climb a mountain, ain't nobody gonna tell me nothin'!"

While the day didn't start off lending itself to hiking weather (cold, damp, and misty) we trudged forth to the trail head in order to begin the 3(?) mile hike to the top. The climb started off simply. All of us had our slow, deliberate hiking walk down to perfection. Heavy, monotonous steps thumped upwards. The day started to clear a little as we hit our first overlook stop. It was lovely (although still misty and foggy) and was a little over a mile up the mountain. As I stood there, sipping water and thinking about how far we already had come, I was amazed. There was no way we were really climbing a mountain! I was already exhausted. The top simply HAD to be approaching soon. And that's where it started.

My two-hour roller coaster through the 5 stages of grief. In my head. While climbing a mountain.

It starts with denial. "There's no way we're going to make it to the top. I'm already exhausted. Kate's not feeling well! I can't believe we're actually doing this, the trail just keeps getting more and more difficult!"

Then it moved on to anger. "Who's idea was it to climb this stupid mountain? We could be hiking any other trail. Why on earth did I agree to this?"

Followed, very quickly, by bargaining. "God, if you help me get to the top of this mountain, I'll never complain about anything again. I'll work out more! Just make my lungs stop burning!"

Depression kicked in about the last mile of the trip, when the terrain started getting a bit crazy. It went something like, "We're going to be jello by the time we reach the top. We won't even enjoy the view." This was accompanied by me losing my mind and singing excerpts from "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus.

Finally, there was acceptance. This kicked in as we neared the top. "Well, we've come this far, we might as well finish this and enjoy it. It's not the worst thing in the world!"

I never expected climbing a mountain would force me to run this gamut of emotions. However, sitting at the top of that mountain was worth it. Relaxing in the calm on that rocky, albeit chipmunk infested, mountain was amazing. All of the grumbling that I had been doing in my head was immediately gone and forgotten. In that moment, I was just happy to be on that mountain with those three people. I even told them that there's nobody I'd rather be on a mountain with, which led Frank to smile and go, "awww, for cuuuute."

While it wasn't the easiest thing in the world, it wasn't Everest. I lived. I conquered.

I climbed a mountain. Ain't nobody gonna tell me nothin'.