We do this with the average people in our society as well. Something goes wrong and we immediately place the blame on the parents. But what about those who are "successful"? We don't tend to focus on the role of parenting with those around us who are living an average, successful life. You can read successful however you would like. Whether you believe that successful means Brad Pitt, or you believe it means 2.5 kids and teaching...I don't really care. Go nuts.
So, due to the fact that parents don't ever seem to get enough credit, I am writing this blog. I'm writing this to unashamedly brag on my not perfect, but pretty dang wonderful, parents. These are three beneficial life lessons my parents taught me, whether intentional or not.
My parents taught me to have realistic expectations. Mom and Dad were absolutely supportive. I wanted to learn to play guitar; they supported me. I was deeply involved in Drama club; they attended every performance feasibly possible. I have wanted to be a hair stylist, nurse, teacher, and horse trainer; they were behind me. However, Mom and Dad never set me up to have unrealistic expectation. I once told my parents I thought it would be awesome to "fly the really fast jets." They explained that it would be fun, but I probably wouldn't be able to do that because my vision would probably never be good enough. I also remember telling them I wanted to be a Rockette. I was then informed that I probably would never be tall enough. And when I didn't get cast after my Godspell callback, my Mom simply asked me, "well, were you really the best?" She trying to be mean; she was being realistic. I was the ONLY person that didn't have any dance training, and the audition was a dance number. My parents always explained these things kindly. I appreciate this so much now that I'm older. I try and look at things objectively. I know far too many people that do not take the time to ask themselves, "Is this realistically feasible?" This not only taught me to NOT let my weaknesses crush me, but to rely on my strengths as a person.
My parents encouraged open communication. I cannot stress how important this has been. When I was a freshman in high school, Dad had to have an emergency surgery to remove his gall bladder...in Atlantic City. This ended up revealing some other health complications that I won't dive into for the sake of time. Don't worry, he's fine now! However, at the time it was really frightening. My mom called me and gave me ALL of the information that afternoon. She kept me updated on everything that happened. Even though it may have been tempting for her to "protect" me from the "scarier" parts of his journey, she never did. She also always asked me how I was doing during their time away. Similarly, when I was a senior in high school my dad told me that he was going to go to seminary in South Carolina. We talked about it with the entire family. He wanted to make sure everyone knew what the plan was, as well as how we all felt about it. It sounds corny. Trust me, I know. But rarely do I get upset at my parents. This happens because I know that I can be honest with them about how I'm feeling.
My parents showed me how to love. I've blogged about this before, but I'm going to touch/elaborate on it once more. I was blessed with grossly in love parents. Not only did they love each other, they loved those whom they surrounded themselves with. They were always willing to help someone out without expecting anything in return. They got to know people before they made judgements about them. My family was a belly full of laughs, hugs, and continual fellowship. Seriously. Dinner at our house could last the better half of two hours - usually because I couldn't stop talking. Shocking, I know. That's where the love is: in doing things for others even if it isn't what tops your agenda.
Thanks, Mom and Dad, for giving me these lessons. There's more that I've learned, but nobody wants to hear me ramble on about the importance of always having a witty comeback, or how if you cup your hands around your ears and move them in/out it sounds funny. I owe ya'll 'bout a million!
Oh, and also...
Good job not raising me to be Justin Bieber.
