The Importance of (Healthily) Embarrassing Your Kids

Now that I'm pregnant, I'm getting all sorts of advice on how to be a parent. The most amazing part is that most of this advice seems to contradict what the last person told me. Pump. Use formula. Swaddle your baby to sleep. Don't swaddle your baby. They should sleep on their back. They should sleep on their stomach. The list goes on and on. The one thing that I have to say that I will always do, as my parents did it for me, is embarrass my kids.

Embarrassing your kids means a lot of different things. In order for them to feel the shame, they understand the social norms. They understand that what you're doing isn't considered "acceptable" in that situation. What an amazing way to teach your children how to act; show them how NOT to act. Every time they say "oh man, I won't be doing that in public...ever," should be taken as a small victory.

This technique teaches us to keep cool under pressure. As much as I know my mom loved watching me squirm, she liked watching me brush things off with humor and poise much more. As a child of an embarrassing parent, you learn to adapt to any situation. You must be prepared. You never know what they are going to do next. Taking it in stride is a coping mechanism you can use in many other aspects of life. If you're thrown a curve ball, chances are you're going to conquer it.

There were two reasons I started thinking about this topic. The first is I've heard from a lot of my youth in the past couple weeks that their parents are "so embarrassing". The other reason is I saw something on Pinterest highlighting how embarrassing Will Smith is as a father. Seriously. Google "Will Smith Embarrassing Jaden" and give yourself a few minutes worth of giggles. There are some gems, but this is my favorite:

Twofold embarrassment? Check.

Will Smith is famous. He's pretty rich. He's got a beautiful family, and he knows it. He has no problem putting his son in the ultimate awkward position. Although Jaden has taken to wearing those hideous poopy pants, he seems pretty well adjusted. Only time will tell, but I doubt he's going to go full on Britney or Amanda when he hits his 20's. Want to know why? Because his dad is giving him lovies in public. 

I know some people try to be the "cool" parents, but that just won't work for me. I'm far too nerdy, and was far too shamed in my youth to not give my kids the same treatment. The absolute best part of this realization was when I went, "oh my goodness, I said I would NEVER do that to my kids!" Oh well, that was before it was a reality, right? So, to my future children: beware. Your mom is going to be super embarrassing. It's going to be good for you. Consider it your psychological equivalent of vegetables.

30DBC - Three Things You Want to Say to Different People.

I have been falling behind on this! As far as challenges go, I guess this would be a major failure! How tragic. Well, here are some things that I suppose I would like to say. Although they aren't really secrets, sometimes it's good to let the world know.

To Mom and Dad - as much as it pains me to say it sometimes, you guys have been right about a lot of things. I appreciate how loving you are. As I grow, I am able to look around and understand how great you were as parents. There are quite a few times where I find myself bragging about how awesome you are. You've been business owners, volunteers, employees, employers, and most importantly (to me) parents. I've learned the importance of being well-rounded and open-minded from the years you raised me. I am always glad that no matter what I do in my life, there will be endless love and support from my parents. Not everyone can say that. I am truly blessed.

To Jim - You are my better, calmer side. Had we not met, there's no way knowing where I would have been. I can tell you that I am better off now than I ever would have been. Your family was welcoming and loving to me. You allow me to look at things in a different way. It still cracks me up that you think I've put on a full face of makeup when all I put on is mascara. You are a patient shopper. I'll never forget moving into and out of our first apartment. I'd never want to go through these sort of adventures without you. I love you more than Oreos, pickles, girly TV, and jeans. Together.

To America - Yeah, I'm lookin' at you America. I'm not going to try and pick someone else to say something to. I'm going to say something to you as a whole. You are the land of opportunity. There is always a way to "be somebody". Don't blame your family or your money for your problems. There are always ways to change. Stop the hate. Our ancestors came here to be free from the oppression of other countries. Please stop hating on people for being a different race/gender/orientation/intelligence/religion/political party. It is mindless. Doctor Who does an episode where everyone is upgraded to be "better" and it didn't turn out so well.

It didn't turn out well AT ALL.

 I don't know why we in America need to complain about things. If you think our country is so unfair, then go somewhere better. If you think we should be taking care of our country before others, then volunteer. You can start a food pantry. You can start an organization. We live in a country that we can DO that. It isn't all up to the government to fix the problems. Gandhi says, "be the change you want to see in the world." It's not that complicated.