My Thumbs are Tired, I Must Be Getting "Old."

Everyone has profound moments in their life. Growing up is full of those "aha" moments that make us look around and realize that our parents were probably right about some stuff. Learning is something that should be treasured. Life experiences aren't always fun; they aren't always awful. Experience is something we should take in stride.

I have to say, I will never forget this moment of starting to feel "old" at 21. Clearly I'm not at the point of nursing homes, so perhaps "grown-up" is a better term. Anyways, I have always been an avid texter. I used to baffle my parents at how fast I could reply to multiple people without even glancing down at what I was typing. That is our generation: keeping in contact without actually connecting. A little while ago I was texting my parents. It had been so long since I'd given them the "life rundown" that I found myself looking at the epically long text and thinking, "My thumbs are tired, I should just call them." That's when my eyes went wide and I realized that I've heard that same phrase from my dad about a million times. What on Earth was happening?

I've started to settle into that grown-up feeling. Feeling grown up isn't just about having to pay bills or living on your own, although it's a start. 21 is that magical "in-between" age. Some of your friends are just out of college, still partying, and have no idea what they want to do with their lives. A handful of your friends have moved on to better things, started their new jobs, and are planning for grad school. Even fewer of those friends are settling down, getting married, and/or having babies. No matter which point your friends are at, it's okay! There's no answer for where we're "supposed to be" at 21, or at any point in our lives. Society may try and dictate that, but there's no simple answer. It just doesn't exist.

A lot of times I feel awkward in my stage of life. I didn't finish college (but have FULL intentions of starting online classes soon), but I am married and have an amazing job. It's difficult in my job to find a balance between ministering to my youth, as well as finding free time to enjoy myself as a young adult. I'm enjoying every minute of finding that balance! So why is this stage so awkward? It has to do with being in that "in-between" stage I talked about earlier. Twenty-somethings are an interesting bunch, but no matter where they are at in their lives you can break them down into two categories: those who respect the awkward in-between, and those who don't.

Those who respect this odd time are a blessing for me. These are the people who, no matter where they are at, are thrilled to watch/help you go about your life. They enjoy watching those around them grow. They appreciate your friendship for what you can give at the time. There's never any, "Oh, you don't want to go out drinking? You're so boring!" or, "Why don't we hang out anymore, you're so busy!", or even, " I can't believe you're already married. You're SO young!" They understand that you're at a different spot, and they tend to make the best of the time you can spend together.

The people who don't respect the in-between frustrate me. It can be difficult enough to figure out your life at this age. It doesn't help when you have people trying to place you into their spot. This goes between people wanting you to be more mature, and less mature. You're 21 and married? Well you should be making more money, have your college education, and get on them babies! On the opposite side, you get those who wish you'd come out and party more. To push someone beyond where they are trying to settle can be an excruciating process to all involved.

Here's my words to those who are struggling with where they want to be: stay where you are comfortable now. Are you not ready to be married? Don't get married, you'll both be miserable. Do you still want to go out and party? Don't have children quite yet, they don't allow for much "going out" time. Not enjoying your job? Keep working, but pursue a career option that will give you joy.

Twenty-somethings need to stick together. We're all in an awkward boat. Comfortable or not, it's a part in our lives where we're getting life experience and learning what it means to feel grown-up. Questioning and judgement do not ease our process; they only enhance the stress. We can't all be a debutant, and we can't all be a party monster. Wherever you are in life, support those around you. It doesn't matter if you've been on this earth for 17 years or 70, we are not all the same person. We are not all meant to be! And for you twenty-somethings, I feel ya. We'll get it figured out one day.